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I feel this deep in my soul. I've spent my whole life feeling like I don't belong. Like if I speak up people will be upset with me or yell at me and that terrifies me. I have felt like people used to invite me to things only because they felt like they had to but didn't REALLY want me there.  I've felt inadequate, lost, not worthy, useless, annoying, desperate, accused,  misunderstood, abandoned & unloveable my whole life. I've felt like no one cares about me & if no one else cares about me then why should I care about myself. I've finally started trying to work through the negative thoughts and feelings. I have forgiven the people that never said they were sorry. That was a HUGE step for me to contact them and speak up for myself. I have learned to love through my wife and kids but I still feel like it could all be taken away from me at any moment and that causes constant fear and anxiety. I don't have the ability to create strong bonds with people
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Mother's Day

Mother's Day has always been particularly emotional for me as my mom has never been in my life, but, this year I am healing my heart and letting go of all the hurt and sadness that has bogged me down and I will celebrate all the mommas out there (including myself because I'm being the best mom I can be and I deserve it! 💖😊💖) So, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY LADIES!!! You are all lovely!!!
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2

I've been actively making decisions to better deal with my depression and anxiety, nothing too overwhelming, and so far it has been wonderful 🙌.  The house is clean, I'm not tired all day AND my mood has improved a bunch! Check out my new morning routine. 1) I drink the Itworks keto coffee that my wife, Selina, sells. I mix in 3 pumps of Upouria sugar free caramel syrup from Kwik Star. We just bought a whole bottle from them. Then, I put a big ol' poof of whipped cream on top! 😋) I love it HOT but we have also made a blended iced coffee out of it and it's freaking delicious!!!  2) Read my daily affirmations (this is HUGE guys!) I made a list in my little notebook and I read them every morning! 😊 💖 3) I make a ✔ list of things I want to accomplish throughout the day. THIS... this is MAJOR! I have a CLEAR list of things I need to do instead of sitting here feeling like I don't know where to start. 4) I work on doing all the things! This is where the coffee comes i
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Day 1

This is my life 100%. Do I want you to try to fix me? Do I want you to feel bad for me? Nope, I just want you to understand why I'm not around, why my hair is always a mess, why my house is a mess, why I am in the same clothes I've worn for days, why I told you I could go but then changed my mind the day of (this is the MOST exhausting thing. It is literally an hours long, sometimes days long, process to try talking myself into doing a thing 😕 and then trying to figure out how to let the person down easily all while telling myself that no one cares if I am there or not so it's ok if I don't go. Most times worrying so much about how to get out of it that I physically feel sick.) Now and then I have a day where I feel amazing! I will put on make-up and Colorstreet my nails and if I have enough energy left I will do my hair. I make my crafts and try to sell them to stay busy so I can feel some sense of normal. Trying so hard to succeed but constantly feeling like a failur
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